from about 9pm (if I am lucky) until 7am.
After a LONG day with 3 kids bickering, whining, asking to be fed over and over again, they finally go to bed. After I have asked them to quiet down at least 30 times and they are finally asleep, I go down to check on them and can’t believe how sweet they look. Those can’t possible be the same children I was dealing with just hours before. I open my ipad, and if I am not currently reading a good book, I start reading some of my favorite blogs and then I feel like a total ass. How is it that I can not be more appreciative of the fact that I have 3 healthy kids as I read about child after child who has died. Why do I let so many “little” things bother me day after day when I am so aware how lucky I am to be blessed with this life?
Once I move on from blogs, I head on over to Pinterest and look at things that are sure to make me healthier, prettier, better dressed, more crafty, more organized, and a better cook among many other things. By 11pm I am a new person and come morning, everyone will see the new me and all I can do. At 7am, I wake my wonderful perfect kids and get ready to start a perfect new day. By 7:10, I am counting to 10 and trying not to yell, and by 7:20, I am that mother who is lecturing my “starving” kids that they should be happy with the 3 cereal choices and 2 bread choices that we have and that kids in Africa would be thrilled with their choices. By 7:25, I have moved on to telling them about girls in other countries who would do anything to be able to go to school and they need to appreciate what they have. Come 7:35, I am yelling as we look for socks, backpacks, homework and lunches. Some where between 7:50-8:07, I am rushing them out of the car and am finally breathing a sign of relief. It is pretty amazing how just one hour in the morning can bring my parenting from a 10 to a 1.
Parenting is hard and it looks nothing like I thought it would. Added to all the “fun” we have, is the guilt that I do not appreciate my kids enough. While I read story after story about children with pediatric cancer, shouldn’t I care less and less about brushed hair, messy rooms and constant bickering?! Unfortunately, as we all know, it does not work that way.
I’m trying though. As I try and raise more funds for my Mamathon, I will write on this blog and hopefully become more aware of my actions as a mama, wife and friend. I will keep taking small steps to get closer to the mama that I am from 9pm-7am.
Well..because number 4 from above.